They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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