we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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