I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
