If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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