its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
