i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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