I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
