the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
