erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
