their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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