So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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