Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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