haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
