and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Pooping to opera.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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