I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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