doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
