it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
