At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
