Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
