Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
