I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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