I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i will never coherently bang her
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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