I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
