he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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