Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
its not stalking. its research.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
two words...techno handjob
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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