Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I want her autograph on my taint
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
