Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize