oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
