I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
