Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
