Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize