is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
