fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
