last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
