i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
