I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
