You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
