so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
