I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
