awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
