Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
