We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
