We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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