So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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