What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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