made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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