But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
