WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
