Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
where am i from again
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
