I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
