so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
