I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Be still, my beating vagina.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize