how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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