im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
