no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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