Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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