You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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