South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
