Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Actions speak louder than pants.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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