i was born a porn star she said
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
