it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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