Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I want a musical about memes.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
