dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
