nut hugger
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
