I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize