Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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