FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
