i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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