nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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