he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
