Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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