im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
