just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
