Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
