mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize