So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
