Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
